The First Three Months

Reflecting back upon the day I began this blog, it amazes me to think of how things have surpassed my expectations. I figured this would be a small blog where a few family and friends would read occasionally because they feel the need to be kind and read a post or two. That was the status of my previous attempt at a blog almost two years ago. I think that one made it a month before it died off, much like my attempt at creating a website.

That tends to happen a lot. The grand visions fizzle out when the initial excitement wears off.

The excitement for this one hasn't fizzled yet. Instead it is exceeding what I aspired to accomplish when I created Scholarly Scribe. So, in celebration of reaching this first minor milestone, I will answer a few questions that were put forward by some of the readers of my Guys' Night post on Friday.

The following questions were asked by Youngman Brown:

1. What was your original reason for starting a blog?

My original reason for starting a blog was actually highlighted in my first post, Why I Write. I created this as a place to share my thoughts on writing and being a writer. I wanted to be able to share some literary opinions and make book recommendations for other readers (which I still haven't done!). And, most importantly, I wanted a place to share my writing with the world.

Like I mentioned in that post, I don't care whether or not I become a rich or famous writer. I write because I want to share my poems and stories with others. If I were to measure the success of that over the past three months, I would have to say I've succeeded. I've had almost 800 page views in three months. That is much better than I anticipated, and a lot of that is courtesy of Yeah Write. But people are reading some of these posts, which means I've met that goal.

2. Have you always been interested in writing/sharing your life, or was it something encouraged by others?

I have been interested in writing itself since about my Sophomore year of high school. That would date around 1999 or so. My earliest poems and stories come from that time frame, and some of them are still among my favorites. For years I have dreamed of getting things published so others could read what I've written. I have made websites and a blog over the past few years where I would tease with a portion of a story, or with some of my poems that I didn't expect to submit.

I was worried about First Electronic Rights for future submissions. So I posted subpar material or general blogs with my thoughts on a certain topic. But I never really shared the ones that I loved. That ended when I started this blog. I've shared a few of my favorites so far, and have even more to come (and others that I've yet to write!)

3. And would you say that now, three months later, that your motivation for blogging has stayed the same or has it changed?

I would say that it has evolved. Originally my intent was to do nothing but post short stories and poems and occasionally throw in something blogish, like my post From Skeptical to Faithful. Today I still have some original writings, such as my Serial Novel that I started a few weeks ago, but I also have a fair mix of regular blog posts about my life or my thoughts on certain topics. I'm sure over the next nine months it will continue to evolve as I find my style and my voice as a blogger.

But I don't think I'll ever lose my desire to share my writing with everyone. I love getting feedback on poems and stories. The good and the bad. Those comments help me to continuously grow as a writer and hone my skills.

The next set of questions come from Shiftless Mommie:

1. What were your biggest concerns when you first got started?

I was concerned about several things when I first started this blog. The first concern was that I would lost interest, yet again, in an attempt to share my thoughts and writing with others. As I mentioned above, I have had several failed attempts at starting blogs and websites with a similar purpose in mind. Thankfully it only takes one exception to break the cycle, and I think that is going to happen with Scholarly Scribe.

My second concern was that no one would take notice. My blog is still small enough and new enough that I get a sense of excitement when I see any new comment, or notice that any single post is getting a fair number of views. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment that aligns with the goals that I had for this blog. As long as I continue to get some views and some comments, I believe I'll continue to have a reason to post.

My third concern was that my greatest fears would become realized. My self-confidence would take a beating. The comments I would get would all be negative and along the lines of telling me to stick to a real job and that I couldn't make it as a writer. Finding acceptance and a sense of belonging never really came easy to me growing up. For the most part I have left that sense of insecurity in the past, but it is always ready to sprout up at the (not so) perfect moment and crush my hopes.

2. What is drawing you to WordPress?

Comparitively there aren't many major differences between Blogger and Wordpress. At least that is what I have been led to believe from the bit of research I have done into the matter. Blogger is newbie-friendly and has some great features. Wordpress, from what I have read and seen so far, takes most things a little bit further in what you can do. I like the designs offered on Wordpress, and they have a free account that gives the same sort of address choice that Blogger allows.

In the end it is just those minor things that Blogger doesn't do that draws me to try it out. I think the biggest appeal is the ability to create Pages, which will make it easy for readers to access each part of my Serial Novel. I'm 98% certain I'm going to enjoy the change to Wordpress and stay there for a long time. Now I just need to get enough skill to create a passable-looking banner for the top of my blog. I've never been able to do things in Paint, much less any of the more advanced photo/image creation/modification programs.


Many thanks to the two bloggers who presented some questions. Any others that happen to pop up over the next few days will be addressed in a future blog post. Feedback is always welcome, as are any other questions you may have thought of!

Reject This

At the end of the week I had something arrive in the mail that I forgot even existed. Last year I had entered some of my writing into the Des Moines Area Community College writing contest and my essay took first place. I opened up a packet from DMACC and inside were two copies of the West Campus publication that had winning writings from 2009-2011. I finally held in my hands a printed, published copy of my writing.

That feeling was inspiring. I have felt the urge to write and submit some more. I've decided to put pen to paper and start writing more new things. And this motivation came at the perfect time...

Because yesterday I got an email back from Poetry magazine with a polite rejection of the poems I submitted to them.

Normally I would go through a phase of lost motivation because I sent them what I felt was the best of the best. But today I really feel like just submitting even more things.

Because I know my writing is good enough for publication. I have physical proof of that on my desk right now. If it is good enough for one, it is good enough for others. I just have to find the right place at the right time.

So I'm going to send out a flood of submissions this week. And if I get a flood of rejections, hopefully there will be at least one pearl that washes up with an acceptance.

And those publications who reject me have only strengthened my resolve to continue writing. And inspired this poem:

Reject This

Reject this poem

Like you have rejected many others,

You aren't rejecting me;

I am not this poem.

Reject this poem

So that it can move on

To be rejected again and again;

That is its fate.

For if a thousand publications

All read this and reject it,

At least it will be read a thousand times.

  And the reason I write

Is so that others can read, so

Reject this poem.

I'm linking this post up with Yeah Write this week so they can all read and reject this poem, too. Feel free to share this with others so that it can get rejected 1,000 times! :)

Writing Goal Tracker

An odd set of coincidences has convinced me to create this post. A few nights ago I was falling asleep and thought about making a blog post to establish my writing-related goals for 2012. I figured this would be a way of keeping myself accountable, since I would have my readers to encourage me to achieve these goals.

The next morning there was a prompt on The Lightning and the Lightning Bug for "Commitment Device". Coincidence? I hardly believe it could be. It was certainly a sign to get motivated and put an action plan into words.

For those who read my last post about the fear of submission, I will provide a status update. I got a response for three of the seven poems I submitted. They were all rejected by an "Emerging Writers" publication. The kicker? Two were rejected solely because they rhyme even though the submission guidelines mentioned nothing about not wanting rhyming poems.

They don't deserve to publish my poems anyway.

I've decided to break this down into six categories: books read, poems written, stories written, works submitted, works accepted, and works rejected.

An important part of being a writer is reading a lot as well. It helps us to grow and develop ideas and voice in our own writing. This is never an issue for me because I love to read. I decided to finally create a GoodReads account last night, where you can see my collection and which books I've read this year.

I tend to write a lot more poems than stories, but I think it would be best for me to continue to generate new work in both categories. That is why there will be a lot more poems than stories for the goals, and for these categories I'm tracking from today through 12/31/2012.

For the submission-related ones, the reason should be fairly self-explanatory. I'll never become published if I don't submit, and I'll hopefully fail to meet my rejection goal.

Check back often because I'll be editing this page every time any of these numbers change!

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Books Read: 17/52           Last Book Completed: The Importance of Being Earnest and Four Other Plays by Oscar Wilde

Poems Written: 2/65

Stories Written: 1/12

Works Submitted: 17/100

Works Accepted: 0/5

Works Rejected: 10/95

Poem - Facing Fear

Last night, during the breaks in my class, I submitted 7 poems for publication. This marked the first time in over a year that I finally broke down and submitted my writing. For some reason the idea of facing another rejection was something I was intimidated by. Last night, while falling asleep, I had the spark of an idea for this poem. It is unedited, in its purest form. It may not be perfect, but that is facing yet another fear. I want things to be perfect before I share them. But sometimes you just have to jump in and do it anyway.

Facing Fear

A shadow freezes the blood

Flowing through my veins,

Giving my hand pause as my

Mind dwells upon dark fears.

 Hesitation lurks around the corner,

Always there to comfort me with

A pessimistic perspective.

I can't do it. I'm not good enough.

Who would take them, anyway?

You really think it is worth

The monetary prize?

For each thrust from the

Pessimist my mind attempts to

Counter with a quick parry

To drive back this gloomy fog that

I have succumbed to so easily.

This is what I am meant to do.

It is my hobby, my passion, the one thing

That is my calling in life.

I am a writer, not some novice who

Quivers in intimidation and

Cowers in the corner with a tail

Between my legs.

This fear that threatens me daily is

Not something new; it is merely taking

A new form. I have always sought

Acceptance, encouragement, success

And hoped to avoid failure.

It took the form of isolation from intimacy,

Keeping me locked in bad relationships

That never should have thrived.

It took the form of hesitation to leave a job

That I loathed, dreaded, hated

Each day. I forced myself to get up and return

To the grind of a retail void where

Creativity and motivation where sucked

Out and replaced with the possibility

Of becoming a mindless zombie.

I hate the struggle with this fear,

But I know that it is as normal

As the breath I take each moment.

It is there for me to overcome

And push to greater heights. It is His will

That I grow to greater heights

By triumphing over this inner demon

That haunts me at every turn.

Each time I've surpassed the barrier

In the past my life has inevitably become

Better by an unmeasurable quantity.

This will be the same because I know

That God has a purpose for these obstacles,

These fear which dwell upon my mind

And freeze me with doubt.

I will succeed. He has seen it happen

Because He knows me and knows what

I am capable of. He bestowed this talent

Upon me when He molded me in His likeness.

I understand why the fear was placed before me;

If this came too easily I would take it 

For granted and gain nothing. To finally

Get past rejection, and my fears of failure,

And become a published author will be

A sweet victory that I can relish

And revel in. I will have earned my place

Among the others before me who have

Earned the right to have their name published

Alongside their writing.

All I need to do is take the first step.

I need to send my beloved pieces

Out for judgment by the editor. And as I

Hit submit I feel peace, knowing that even if

The result is rejection, my will is strong and

In my heart I know that it was all part of

His plan for me. Because I am a writer

And I will become published.

Someday.

This post is being submitted for consideration in Yeah Write #45. This marks the third week taking place in this exciting contest! Check it out and enjoy reading all 50 blog posts.

I Can't Write

I can't write today. There is too much to do. Laundry needs folded, dishes need washed, cats need fed, the house needs cleaned. The snow won't shovel itself. The cats won't clean their litter box when they are done. The fridge won't fill itself with groceries. I'm much too busy to write.

I can't write today. There is too much to watch. All of my favorite shows are on and I can't miss a minute. Biggest Loser comes on soon. No, I'm not being lazy while watching the show. I'm doing arm curls while watching the show every time I eat a cookie. And I'm burning calories when I chew. I'm much too busy to write.

I can't write today. I've got to farm on Facebook and manage my mafia. Someone just posted links to a dozen music videos that I simply must watch. I've got to tweet on Twitter and manage my Pinterest. Time to describe my day in 140 characters or less: "Writer's block rears its ugly head. My story seems to go nowhere. I simply can't write today. #notwriting #fail". I'm much too busy to write.

I can't write today. My internal editor won't stop shouting. The comma needs to come out of my poem. Later this afternoon it will demand its return. It grinds my flow of words to a halt as it inspects each word and phrase with intense scrutiny. Revising this poem will take all day. I'm much too busy to write.

I can't write today. Nothing is going my way. I woke up late. My shower was cold. My shoe got wet. I burnt my lunch. My car won't start. My hair has a mind of its own. The whole world stands against me. The stars are not aligned in my favor today. Facing the zombie apocalypse would be a better day than today has been. Sitting in this corner, in the fetal position, is the safest way to pass my day. I'm much too busy to write.

I can't write today. The ideas in my mind have become stagnant and dull. The poetic prose which flows from my pen has passed. The main characters of my story have decided to take a vacation week. The blank white sheet intimidates me and haunts me in my sleep. My words stumble and stutter and fail to evoke emotion. It is far better to wait until tomorrow. I'm much too busy to...

 Wait.

I guess I could write today. All I had to do was start.


Photo courtesy of Creative Commons.

Poem - Running With the River

I find that a lot of the poetry I write falls into two categories: love or revolving around a child's perspective in some way. That is the case with tonight's poem, Running With the River. I think it is a fun little poem about taking things to extremes to prove something is wrong, yet also cherishes that childhood energy and innocence we all used to possess.

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Running With the River

I splashed into the river today

And darted back on the bank,

I sprinted down the winding path

As the river flowed away.

Caught in a moment of stubborn pride,

Determined to prove my teacher wrong,

I chased the water where I stepped

To step in the same spot twice.

The day goes by but still I try

In vain to find the same spot again.

This river runs way too fast;

Yes, even faster than me.

My clothes are soaked to my body,

Oh my mom will not be pleased

But tomorrow I will try again.

It will not get the best of me.

Poem - Thoughts Upon Two

Today I have decided to show my softer side and share a love poem with you. I am lucky to say that I finally met the woman I was created to spend eternity with, and she has helped make me a stronger, more complete person. She has pushed me to limits that I never imagined possible within myself, and I have become happier and healthier in the two years that we have been together.

I am counting down the days until July 14, when we will be married and begin the next stage of our journey together through life. I think back upon the person I was before she came along, and I am blessed to have the path of my life intertwined with hers.

I can never thank her enough, nor ever express the love I have for her with words. There is no word to describe the magnitude of affection that I possess. She has been the object of many poems over the two years, and will continue to be for the rest of my life.

I dedicate this poem to my future wife, Nicole Tyler Millard:

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Thoughts Upon Two

Two people, together two years

Filled with far too many joyous

Memories the two have shared.

The power of two, it’s symmetrical

Applications evident in so many things.

People adorned with a multitude of twos:

Two eyes, two ears, two arms and legs;

Two hands, two feet, two lungs, two hemispheres.

Small wonder the number two is so vital

To measure as a landmark. Two people

In love, born from two parents, stemming

From two chromosomes; a joining of

Two families while two hearts beat

Uncontrollably in the presence of each other.

Shall I love her for too long? If it

Be two days I should consider myself lucky

For the two rotations of the Earth we

Shared. If it be two months I should

Deem them the best spent weeks in recent

Memory. If it be two years I should

Consider myself blessed to have known

The joys found in her presence. If it

Should be for two lifetimes that, too,

Would be such a wonderful life to have

Spent, as two people united by love.

Poem - The Thrill of Books

Added 3/28/2012 - I've chosen to link up this post with the Alison & Ado's 1st Blogoversary Blog Bash because I feel this is one of my best pieces of poetry that I've shared so far, and I want to share it with everyone. I love having people read what I write, and I felt that this poem really captured a snapshot of the love I have for reading books.


I've always been a big reader. My mother can tell stories about how I would bring a stack of books for her to read to me when I was too young to read them on my own. That passion has never left me, although it has often shifted.

I spend most of my time reading classic literature or fantasy novels. I've always been a huge fan of the fantasy genre, dabbling at times into Science Fiction as well. I love the quest of the hero, the epic battles, the ultimate villains, and the idea that one person (or small group of people) can make a difference in the world.

I will admit I have a weakness for King Arthur literature. If I had a chance I would go back in time and join King Arthur's court. I'm always on the lookout for some great stories involving Arthur and the cast of characters surrounding him. One of my most recent reads was Gwenhwyfar by Mercedes Lackey. I read 90% of that book in one day because I simply could not put it down. It gets my highest recommendation to any interested in fantasy, King Arthur, or a great story.

I leave you today with a poem I wrote nearly two years ago. I hope you enjoy it.

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The Thrill of Books

When someone asks me why I read

I know not how to answer, I plead;

Not because I cannot place words to passion

But rather from a loss of where to begin.

Today I might find myself in another nation

During the heated crescendo of Revolution,

And tomorrow be in Rome, helping inspire

And expand the borders of an ancient empire.

Riding with knights in search of the Grail,

Sailing the seas to hunt for the White Whale,

Deductively discover clues with Sherlock Holmes;

All of this and more are contained in these tomes.

I can travel the world within eighty days

Or battle a minotaur within a maze,

Witness the beauty of Helen of Troy

Or recapture the magic I felt as a boy.

Become a warrior or witch, noble or serf,

Anything I want to experience here on Earth;

And if this planet has naught more to uncover

There are millions of others left to discover.

I can run like a cheetah, swim like a shark,

Fly like an owl and see in the dark.

No matter the time, whatever the day,

No matter the weather I can get away.

My books are an escape, a journey or quest,

A patient instructor who teaches me best;

One little object that can accomplish such deeds

That is my answer as to why I shall read.