From Skeptical to Faithful

For most of the 27 years of my life I tried to avoid religion. My mind was unable to wrap around the abstract notion of faith. I could not comprehend the importance of or need for religion. I wasn't atheist because I believed in the possibility, but I was more of agnostic. That basically means I was skeptical about the ability to know or not know about the existence of a deity.

A few years ago my life was stuck in an endless, destructive cycle. I spent all of my free time playing video games for hours and hours upon end. I was working 60-80 hours per week in a salaried job that I had grown to hate. There were a few times I even worked 24 hours straight for that job. I had always thought that was the career I was destined for because I didn't have a college degree.

But I desperately needed a change.

One day I had the sudden inspiration to look into the local community college. I barely made the deadline to sign up for that term's spring classes and enrolled in one course that was completely online. It was the first change in my life that would lead me down a new path.

That summer I stepped down from my salaried position and transferred to a different store. I was going to work evenings and take full-time classes during the day. That fall I met my fiancee through one of those classes, and we also realized we both worked evenings at the same store. We hit it off immediately and my life has become better ever since.

We occasionally went to her old church across town with her Grandma. While I enjoyed seeing her family, things never really changed for me while attending there. I still wasn't certain of my ability to believe, to have faith.

Seven months ago we decided to try and find a church nearby because she believed it would be important to belong to a church that we can attend as a family when we have children. I was willing to look around and we went to a few churches around town. We didn't go back to any of them a second time.

Then we attended a church called Point of Grace. She thought I might like the rock band-style music, and she was right about that. We also enjoyed the sermon given by the pastors. It was the most interesting church service I had ever been to, and we agreed to attend again the next weekend. We've gone every Sunday ever since, and I can officially say that I feel as though I belong to a church.

But there was more in store for me.

I've been reading a few pages each day from the Bible. We've become involved in some premarital events and some small group sessions. One of these is known as Pursuit. It is an eight-week course where we attempt to "See God as He is SO we can see ourselves as He sees us SO we can see others as He sees them". Wednesday was the sixth lesson in the course, and it seriously changed me.

Something that night struck a chord with me on a whole other level that I didn't even know existed. It is like a faith switch was suddenly flipped. I have been inspired to pray every morning and night since that session, as well as a few times during the day when I feel inspired to. I've become more open in talking about my new-found faith. I've started posting a bible verse each day on Facebook with the hope that it helps someone in some small way. If it inspires or encourages at least one person, then it was worth it.

Driving to work on Thursday morning I had the urge to turn the radio to Christian music. It has been there ever since.

A few weeks ago a family member needed to find a new job, which came at a bad time because she is getting married next month and had just put in an offer for a house. I started praying for her to find a job and yesterday I saw a Facebook post that she got a job.

My fiancee was suffering from jolts of pain yesterday. Last night I prayed for them to be healed. This morning they were gone.

A year ago I would have argued that this was coincidence. Today I believe there was a higher power at work.

I'm not here to preach and try to convert anyone. But I am here to let the world know that I am a true believer now. It took a long time, but I have finally found my faith. And I can't wait to find out where it is going to take me in my life.

Linking up with The Lightning and the Lightning Bug for the Dare to Share: Brave. This has always been a topic I've had trouble talking about and it feels great to finally be able to share it with others.

 

Achievement Unlocked: Reading Marathon

I'm not afraid of reading long books. A few summers ago I enjoyed Atlas Shrugged and It. Last year I read Don Quixote. One of my favorite series, The Sword of Truth, has eleven books that are 700-1000 pages long. I don't mind novels that draw near a thousand pages. Many times I end up enjoying these books. The problem comes when time is a factor.

A month ago we had to read Vanity Fair in the two weeks between my class, The Long Century. It was the second of six novels we're reading this semester for the course and it was a challenge to get through the novel. Especially since about 300 pages could have been removed without losing a lot of story. There was a ton of repetition.

Now I have entered the two week period where I get the challenge of reading Middlemarch inside of a two week period. This is a 900-page behemoth of a Victorian-era novel. To top things off my other class also is having me finish the last 200 pages of Angela's Ashes in the same two week period. Holy crap that is a lot of reading in a short span of time. I feel like I'm running a literature marathon here.


Now that the spring semester is closing in near the end, I'm trying to figure out my own reading goal list for the summer. I'm trying to keep in mind that next spring I'll be doing my Senior Project and what I might do for that. A 25 page paper sounds like a lot, but I'm sure I can easily eclipse that mark if I get a great topic that encompasses some awesome literature.

My initial thoughts are either comparisons of some of the major King Arthur novels (Le Morte d'Artur, The Once and Future King, The Mists of Avalon, Idylls of the King come to mind immediately for that) or something like the evolution of the "hero" in novels (starting with something like Beowulf, hitting novels like Odyssey, The Three Musketeers, could hit an Arthur/Lancelot novel, and then some more recent works like The Lord of the Rings and some other current fantasy novels).

I'd like to hear some opinions on what might be good books to look into for either of those topics. I've got an impossibly long list of books I want to read someday, and there are probably many I wouldn't think to look into. Suggestions?

On Education

I wish I would have listened to my dad years ago when he emphasized the importance of doing good in school. It was a topic he brought up several times during my high school years, and each time I simply heard the words without the importance sinking in. I didn't really see the need.

I didn't understand how much of a difference it would be to get an 'A' instead of a 'B'. The former would require effort to obtain, while the latter I could get without studying or applying myself beyond showing up for class and doing homework at the last possible minute.

Then I went to college for a semester. One miserable semester where I felt overwhelmed and inferior. Suddenly those 'B' grades were becoming 'C' grades. I didn't get dumber overnight. The material and the grading standards simply increased. I did not return to Simpson College for the Spring semester in 2003.

I kicked myself for years after that. I tried to succeed in life with what skills and opportunities presented themselves to me. I did manage to thrive for a few years until I had a life-changing realization: I hated my job and the industry I was working in.

I needed a change.

At the time I was single, living with my best friend, so I really had nothing to lose by taking a pay cut and returning to the college world. I enrolled at the local community college and came to another realization: "just enough" wasn't good enough for me.

My dad's advice finally made sense.

Over the past three years I've been paving my way toward a college education that I could have obtained years ago. Last May I graduated from Des Moines Area Community College with an Associate of Arts degree. I was inducted into the Phi Theta Kappa honor society. I graduated with honors.

All while working full-time.

I decided last fall to return to Simpson College. Yes, the same place I departed from after a lackluster 2002 Fall term. Then I learned I would retain my GPA and the credits earned from that semester. Yikes!

But I've viewed this as an opportunity to repair the error in my past and finish what I started. And I fully intend to finish in 2013 with honors, in spite of the obstacle.

With this resurgence of focus on education in my life recently, I've paid particular attention to that topic with Obama's current presidency and what the possible Republican candidates have said. And something I read tonight really bothered me.

Rick Santorum came out and said that Obama is a "snob" because he encourages everyone in America to go to college.

An article on Forbes quotes another part of Santorum's speech: “There are good, decent men and women who work hard every day and put their skills to the test that aren’t taught by some liberal college professor… That’s why he wants you to go to college. He wants to remake you in his image,” Santorum said. “I want to create jobs so people can remake their children into their image, not his.”

Wait a minute, Obama wants us to go to college so we can be remade in his image? Really?

 And then I do some more digging into Santorum's educational views. I don't like what I'm finding. He believes that we should reduce government funding for public education and revert to homeschooling.

I don't want to see the quality of education decline.

I value education. It is a value that I hope to foster in my children when my fiancee and I begin to have a family. It is something I encourage everyone to value, because I feel it is important. It is something that President Obama supports, and it is something that the current governor of Iowa supports as well.

And I like that.

What I don't like is being hearing that a possible candidate for the Presidency does not value it. He would probably not get my vote if he beats Romney.

Because I think a quality education is that important in today's world.